No! No! Nooooooooo!

They had warned of a long period in which little happens, and that period set in. Luckily, things were changing on the home front, too, as we had put in the down payment on a nice, WARM house and the waiting for my first book to come out was filled with the excitement of moving home.
On the publishing front, small things were happening. I got the galley proofs for correction, and, later, an advance copy. A couple of well-known authors had given me blurbs, and their endorsement helped curb my nervousness.
Because it was slowly dawning on me: I was going OUT THERE! Into the public eye! Me, the shrinking violet who never could rally the courage to say a word out in public, not even in school, in class! How would I ever cope with the pressure of being an author OUT THERE, subject to criticism and ridicule! What if the critics pulled my book to pieces, this little baby I’d nourished and tended so long? The thought of people actually reading my book, words I had chosen and put on paper, a story born in the murky depths of my own mind terrified me. Who would ever want to read me? Why should anyone care?
I was filled with such trepidation that there were times when, if I could have cancelled the whole deal, I would have done so.
But there was no going back. Come July my book would appear on bookshelves all over England, and there was nothing I could do about it. Thank goodness.


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